I can't move.
I can't live.
I can't summon the power to try.

It's hard to have pride or faith.
It's hard to be hopeful when you feel paralyzed.
It's so much easier to remain immobile.
It's so much less painful to retreat into the pit.

I've tried and failed to regain my life.
Now I maintain semblances of relationships.
I have friends who I know love me.
But they help me little.
I know who it is that I need.

I await my saviour.
The one who brought me so high, who showed me love,
Who finally opened up my world.
I will love her all over again.
Like a fool, I wait for her to come back,
The one who left me paralyzed for years.

--May 1998